Coaching Prudence

Aristotle defined prudence as “right reason in practice.” Furthermore he said, “prudence does not use wisdom but sees to it that wisdom is acquired. So prudence gives orders for the sake of wisdom but does not give orders to wisdom” (Nicomachean Ethics, Book Z, 13). Aquinas, working off of Aristotle, made a distinction between “art”, “wisdom” and “prudence.” Art is related to “productive knowledge” (the knowledge of what to make). Wisdom is related to “speculative knowledge” (the knowledge of first causes, why things are). And prudence is related to “practical knowledge” (the knowledge of what to do) (S.T. I-II, 54.4).

In using our football analogy, think of it this way:  The art of the game is knowing what skills are required to execute the play call. The wisdom of the game is knowing why that particular play call was the right or wrong one to go with. The prudence of the game is knowing in the moment which play call to go with or not.

When a player is skilled, they are an artist in their craft. When a player learns from their failures and successes, they are wise in their play-making abilities. The skilled and wise player becomes prudent over time destined to reach the Hall of Fame because of his body of work, not for moments of glory.

Like all virtues, prudence is a habit or disposition to do what is good for man. Yet prudence holds a unique place. The Catechism says that prudence is "the charioteer of the virtues" and "guides the other [cardinal] virtues by setting rule and measure" (CCC 1806).  So because it is prudent to mention it, the cardinal virtues are truly empty if not for grace. St. Augustine recognized the value of these cardinal virtues yet never severed them from grace (cf CCC 1809):

To live well is nothing other than to love God with all one's heart, with all one's soul and with all one's efforts [echoes the Shema]; from this it comes about that love is kept whole and uncorrupted (through temperance). No misfortune can disturb it (and this is fortitude). It obeys only [God] (and this is justice), and is careful in discerning things, so as not to be surprised by deceit or trickery (and this is prudence).

And because we live in a fallen and sinful world, we must preserve ourselves in God’s grace if we are to elevate our actions worthy as an imitation of Christ’s (cf CCC 1839). Furthermore we shall know the (twelve) fruits (charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, chastity) of our labor with the (seven) gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord).

So returning to our football analogy, the game would be chaos if not for the coach. The coach is the one who gives direction. He preserves the nature of the game according to his command. Therefore it is no surprise that some coaches have allowed the game to get to their heads and taken on a “god-complex.” I would say to some degree that he must if he is to be a good coach. And God the Father would be the perfect model for any coach.

Christ reveals the mystery of the Father through his words and actions. So to know the Son is to know the Father, for no one comes to the Father except through the Son…Thomas asked Jesus, “How can we know the way?” Jesus responds, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through me. If you really know me, you would know my Father also” (John 14:5-7).

Think of it in this football way, the team reflects the coaching staff to the extent of both his successes and failures. Like it or not, you are your father’s son. Yet you are his unique son. This in part is the reason that we cannot speak about fathers without speaking about sons. So we return to where we began, our first session: the father and son tossing the football in the backyard. The father shows the son what it means to be a man in how he interacts with his son. And the son imitates his father in obedience, learning from him the meaning of being male.

Every man in some way is a father to another male who looks up to him. What are we men, as fathers, teaching our sons? What commands do we give one another to preserve the genius of our masculinity?

If we misuse or abuse our power to command then death is to follow and evil reigns. Yet if we use the power of our genius, our command to love will preserve life. This is “right reason in practice.” This is the prudent path of being a man. 

God’s game plan for men is to be nothing less than being who God created us to be, the image and likeness of him: a son of God, a brother of the Lord, a husband of woman and a father in Heaven.

Noble Metals

Allow me to speak briefly one more time, about the virtuous living of the husband. Note that the sign of his nobility, a reminder of his commitment, is his wedding ring.

The wedding ring is made of at least one of the noble metals: silver, gold and platinum. These metals are referred to as “noble” because they are “well known” for their ability to resist oxidation. In other words the ring resists rust no matter its exposure. These metals have a sense of permanence in the air because they do not deteriorate according to changing winds.

Likewise his ring is to make well known to all of the permanence of his marriage. The virtuous husband lives according to a life composed of chastity and intimacy. Chastity is about integration for completion. In other words the husband is able to resist lust because of what he is “made of.” And most importantly his noble heart never breaks with rage or anger when weathered by his environment. He is able to give the whole gift of himself to his beloved without reservation, because intimacy is his response. Violence is conquered with valor, and his ring of honor is due to God being Lord in the sanctuary of his home. He is as Christ is to the Church, hers.

Life Hangs in the Balance of Love

Let’s consider for a moment our football analogy…the play call. All the training and practice is to prepare one to be ready to receive. To be ready for the play call in which you are crucial for its success. See how often on any given Sunday when the player is not truly ready for the play call. We all know what happens. Numerous events could result: penalty for a loss of yardage; the quarterback is sacked, the ball is fumbled, intercepted or dropped. All that training and practice results in failure.

Yet if we take our noble stance with confidence, we shall shine in that “moment of glory” and succeed. Consider all that is involved in “making the play:” designing the play, preparing to execute the play, practicing the play, communicating the signals of the play, relaying to the team the play call, and each player being aware of their role. If practice proved anything, you’ll seemingly go through the motions instinctually. You are to know your place so well that you take your stance confidently and correctly. This is chivalry at its best. And do you see how “courtship” is necessary for marriage?

The wisdom of Coach Landry bears repeating at this point: “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.”

Ultimately for us men who are called to be husbands of woman is God’s plan. God asks of the bridegroom to be as Christ is to the Church. This is possible only if we have the confidence gained in Christian chaste living. Through that kind of confidence, a husband can be spouse to his beloved woman, his wife.

The Christian understanding of husband is not to be a father, it is to be the spouse of woman. A man is called first to be a husband before being called to be a father. Being a husband of woman is about chastity (completion). And as for intimacy, intimacy is conditioning my heart for her, for the sake of my wife. I can be a “suitable partner” for my wife if I can bring my confidence into play. I can bear the responsibility of being her husband because God built me with the broad shoulders to take it, to guard her from the evil of sin. And I’ve conditioned my heart in practice to be supple for her sake, in intimacy.

Again what is at stake is that life hangs in the balance of a love between husband and wife.

Nobility of Husband

The lesson of endurance was taught when the father and son tossed the football in that backyard. And the lesson of perseverance was practiced when brothers lined-up against brothers. Now the lesson is one of intimacy. The man of the house is not really king of his castle, but a noble knight in a sanctuary.

Men who are husbands are charged with nothing less than guarding woman. This is how the genius of our masculinity is revealed when a man becomes husband of woman. We must look to both Adam and Joseph briefly.

God commanded Adam to guard the garden when he settled him in the garden of Eden to cultivate and care for it. This garden of Eden represents the source of life on earth. Yet by the time we learn of the Fall of Man, the serpent has already entered the garden and tempts Eve. Where is Adam? His heart was hardened. Why is Eve seemingly alone in the garden? The two were to cling and be one! Man was to not only guard the garden, but to cultivate it. Look what happens when the genius of our masculinity is not only neglected but forgotten!

We turn our attention to St. Joseph, husband of Mary. Upon careful reading of the Gospel of Matthew, something hidden is revealed about the genius of our masculinity. Man returns to being a true husband of woman in Joseph. In reading the genealogy of Jesus, the names listed highlight a proud patriarchal line with a few exceptions (see Matthew 1:1-16). When you finally get to Joseph, he is referenced as “the husband of Mary” (Matthew 1:16). God has restored in Joseph and Mary the genius of spouses, both the masculine and feminine. Mary is raised up by the protection of Joseph. This becomes more apparent in the complete reading of Matthew’s Infancy Narrative.

Why is this important? Joseph is often hailed as a model of fatherhood, in a foster sense. Yet I suggest that Joseph is our perfect model of the husband of woman. He demonstrates the genius of our masculinity as husband, not father! Nobility transformed this devout Jew, brother of the Lord, into the husband of woman, the woman, Mary! Joseph’s role as guardian and protector of the Holy Family was because he was the husband of Mary, not the father of Jesus. This highlights for us who too are called to be husband of woman.